Been a While

Dear Ashley,

Sorry I haven't been writing here! It's just a hassle to write from this slow and obsolete computer, really! It takes so long to load and there's usually a slim chance that the Internet window will shut down right before you save a blog entry. Go figure. I was always ill-fated anyway.

Anyway, lots have happened since I last wrote. For one thing, we got a new puppy! She's a choco Lab named Cassie, and her exuberance (and friskiness) reminds us of how you were as a puppy, Ash! She loves to chew anything and everything, she loves to annoy Shadow, she loves to run around repeatedly without tiring. She's one little bundle of energy! But we love her nonetheless.

It's nice to have her because it doesn't seem anymore like Shadow's lonely. He has no time to wallow in depression because in a matter of seconds, a little one will sink her teeth into his tail.

But we still miss you, Ash. You're never gone from our thoughts. And even if I hadn't been writing in a while, I've been "talking" to the stuffed toy version of you, which I sleep with nightly. So your presence is very much still around.

Also, about a week or so ago, I chanced upon the very last picture of you that was taken, shortly after you died. Chuck took it and decided not to show it to me for fear of how I would react.

When I saw it, I got sad. It reminded me that I wasn't there for you when it happened. It reminded me that, on your last day, unknowingly, I wasn't around.

I hope you've forgiven me for that. I'm really sorry. Whatever pagkukulang I had with you, I'll try to pour it out on Shadow and Cassie.

I miss you, Ash.